|Joke No.1: The Good SonAn old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.His only son, who would have helped him, was in Long Kesh Prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.
Shortly, he received this reply, “For HEAVEN’S SAKE, Dad, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!” At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.
His son’s reply was: “Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It’s the best I could do”.
Joke No:2 :The Perfect Husband.
Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.
WOMAN: “Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
WOMAN: “I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only 3 ,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure…go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: ” 300,000?
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing … The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking 850,000?
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!!”
MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape…..
He smiles and asks:
“Anyone knows whose phone is this? ”
Joke No:3 “Mooo” Economics
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.