Jokes/Humors Section –Starting Out New

Joke No 1:Employee Test

“If you’re going to work here young man,” said the boss, “the number two thing you must learn is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm.”

“Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?”

“Oh, yes, sir.” responded the young man.

“And another thing the number one thing we are very keen on is honesty. There is no mat.” said the boss.

Joke No 2: Management Lesson

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”

Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?”

“Rain.”

 Joke No 3 : University Graduate

A young man was hired by a supermarket and reports for his first day of work.

The manager greets him with a hearty handshake and smile, hands him a broom and says, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“Sweep the store? But I’m a college graduate,” the young man indignantly replied.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how first.”

Joke No.4: Job Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”

The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years-say, a red Corvette?”

The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”

And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it”.

Joke No 5: Eager to Impress the Boss

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”